What is Success in the Modern College World?

My musings continue on the on college opinions

Yesterday, the college decision process was finished. National Decision Day has been announced. Everyone will be making big decisions on their future. Some people will be happy with where they are going. Others, not so much. Regardless, a new journey will start for millions of peoples lives around the world.

For me, this day is very important. My siblings made their decision for college. I have worked as an orientation leader in the past, helping people adjust from high school to UW. Seeing how people adapt to college is something I am very passionate about, especially considering my own struggles.

Most people can think of my time in college as a success. During my 4 years at the University of Washington, I have accomplished many amazing things here. I write sports journalism for The Daily at UW, I am the social media director of UW AEPi, I was an orientation leader for UW, and I am involved in UW judo. I also go to a lot of sports games, spend lots of time walking around campus. and enjoy going to UW Chabad for Friday night meetups.

There are days where I feel incredibly proud of my accomplishments. Despite my social difficulties of autism spectrum disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder, I have worked extremely hard to get myself in a position to improve and succeed in college. I am very willing to try new things. I have made sure to cultivate an environment where I treat others with respect. I’ve excelled academically through a very deep, powerful burnout.

Yet, there are days where I don’t feel like I’m enough. I’ve struggled with making money during my time in college. I feel like I’m hitting my ceiling in judo. I’ve never done any research during my time here, nor do I desire to do any. I struggle to plan things outside of school, which affects my social life. I tend to get very hard on myself when I make mistakes, whether it’s losing something and not turning things on time.

Worst of all, there were times over the last 2 years where I was burnt out and straight up hated school. I often felt lonely as I was often the only person who I knew as neurodivergent. Homework has often been a nightmare, as I had a habit of staying up way past my normal bedtime to get work done. This has led to unnecessary stress and exhaustion in my life.

This doesn’t even get to the worst part of it, social media. On Instagram and Snapchat, everyone will post their best moments of their college life like gamedays, parties, research accomplishments, and cutesy coffee shops. On LinkedIn(which I don’t have), people will post all of their academic and professional accomplishments.

Yet, nobody posted about their struggles with school or mental health there. Nobody shared about the long tiring days they spent studying. I spent years trying to be as honest as I could there, but social media felt fake and artificial. It got really easy to feel overwhelmed and empty It was only during the summer of 2024 that I knew that I had to cut back on my time there drastically.

On top of that, the worst thing is that society has a specific way that they expect college people to act. They think that most people in college love to party, drink underaged, and spend a ton of time with their friends. Yet, we know that isn’t true. Some people do like to do that stuff. But there are plenty of people who are more introverted and have interests that go against the grain, like me.

We must also talk about how the hustle culture is glorified in college. Pulling all nighters to study. Doing tons of networking. Trying to join as many clubs as possible. Drinking coffee and barely eating anything. While I believe that pursuing activities that help you succeed is important, so is getting enough rest. Balance is an important art of life, whether it’s school or something else.

Another important thing that I must talk about is how college causes unrealistic body images. In high school, I was in a very sheltered environment, especially with COVID. I was not very aware of gyms or lifting. My body image felt fine. However, I had a shock at college. I started feeling very weak and insecure. As a small guy with limited muscle, it is tough to feel confident when you are surrounded by bigger, more confident guys. I think that it is completely okay to struggle with body image. This is especially important as our bodies are changing a lot hormonally, from children to adults.

Many people think that college is supposed to be the best time of your life. I disagree. Some people aren’t built for college. Some people went through struggles during their time which caused them to grow. Some people are just trying their hardest to make ends meet. We aren’t aware of what everyone is going through, so we should stop trying to be so judgmental of others(myself included).

I will also say that college isn’t quite the place to build free thinkers as people think that it is. Too often, I see professors pushing their political opinions over free thought. The grueling workload of college can also inhibit students spending time on other interests. Are we turning students into autonomous beings or wage slaves for the corporate machine?

If anyone is struggling with handling the rigors of college, it is okay. I am here for you. It is totally okay to feel down. In fact, we can’t be happy all of the time. Try to let yourself feel those emotions instead of suppressing them. It is important to remind you that college and school was meant to program you for 9-5 jobs. There are many people who thrive in different setting.

Even though I say all of this, I wouldn’t trade my time at UW for anything. I made lots of great memories here. I made many amazing friends. I gained appreciation for a new state. I learned how to be independent. I explored many cool places. I grew a lot as a person over my time here. It is a place that I will hold in my heart.

So what do I recommend to do after high school? I don’t know. It depends on your goals and passions. Do you wanna be a lawyer? Surgeon? Artist? Farmer? Traveler? Monk? Research the best way to follow that path. Commit yourself to a goal. Try your hardest, even if it takes lots of failure. Have people in your circle who genuinely care about you. And if you’re religious, trust that God will lead you down the right path.

All I will say is that the last thing you want to do is have other people make these big decisions. Instead of freedom, that will lead you towards external validation. Trust your intuition. Allow yourself to fail and change. Most importantly, an important reminder to those going to college is that most people choose a career that is not in their major. So, make sure to do something you like along the way.

I wish everyone the best of luck over the rest of the school year. Whether you’re a senior in college like me trying to finish your degree, or a freshman who’s going to start school next year, I hope that you’re excited about the future. I know that it can be scary to think about, but I know that there are a ton of bright and amazing people out in this world.

Last but not least, I want you to know that life isn’t easy. There will be a lot of ups and downs. Some days, you will have to embrace the suck. Make sure to give yourself time to relax and do different things. Try to have a good support system, no matter how big or small it is. May you make the best out of it.